Nicole vs. Life
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
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Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
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She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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