I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
