So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
