i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
