Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
