I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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