i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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