i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
