my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize