apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
