don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
