y did u give ur computer a hand job?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
