Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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