Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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