dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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