Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize