The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
