$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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