Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
we have officially lost it.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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