I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Pooping to opera.
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