You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
