The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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