I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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