Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
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I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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