Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
