i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
