there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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