i need an iv and a liver transplant
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
