...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
