Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
