All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
