I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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