im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
