at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
