I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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