I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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