i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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