So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
