do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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