his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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