I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
