evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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