Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
