I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
