He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
