Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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