Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
