I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
