I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
