U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
