The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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