carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
