i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
