I wish my penis had an off switch
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
