i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
