Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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